Jan 05, 2026
Discovering the Joy of Autonomy
A sense of obligation never really leaves us once we become adults and take on serious responsibilities.
A few years ago I learned a three-chapter framework for living:
In chapter 1 we are fully dependent on others (childhood)
In chapter 2 others depend on us (working adulthood)
In chapter 3 we help others become independent of us (late adulthood, leadership)
The framework resonated with me, and I embraced my third chapter. I trained as a coach and loved serving people in that capacity. In this third chapter, we’re still working for others.
Recently I closed my coaching practice and am now stepping away from work for others to pursue my passions. Where does that leave me?
I propose a fourth chapter: Freedom.
While core obligations remain, if we’ve done our jobs well in the first three chapters we will have earned the freedom to stop working and focus on other passions. Some call this chapter retirement. It’s been helpful to me to define that as a point in life where others are no longer dependent on us. They have alternatives for when we’re not around, and will be no worse off in our absence. That leaves us with autonomy to pursue whatever draws us.
For me, hiking, photography, writing and building a digital legacy have become my passions. While I value the fact that people can still benefit from my coaching and mentoring, I’m happier referring them to other working professionals. I discovered the joy of turning down requests for my services so I could get outside instead.
The time I have left to be healthy and active outdoors is limited, and I value that time above all. I prefer to spend it on the things I feel most strongly compelled to do.
Hiking is one of those things. I tried to hike once a week in 2025. My success rate was less than 50%, due in part to unavoidable personal obligations I was happy to fulfill. On days that I hiked, my journal entries captured joy and contentment well above that of even the most rewarding work days. My takeaway: Hike more.
To make that possible I have reduced my availability for work, including volunteering as a business coach and mentor. It is hard to turn down work for people and causes I value. But in this past year the non-profits I support honored my request and trained new volunteers. The people who depended on me for coaching and mentoring are being well served by new coaches.
It’s clear that others – outside my family – are no longer dependent on me. I can finally enjoy my fourth and final chapter; The freedom and autonomy to pursue my passions.
To anyone financially ready to retire who can safely walk away from working for others I say: seize your autonomy. Embrace it fully and trust that others can continue your good work.
Freedom awaits. ◼️